Monday, September 26, 2005

Something Fun on a Strange Day

Before I post my fun thing, I want to mention that since I'm done with my hiatus from writing, I put a progress bar for the WIP over on the left, at the top, where I can't miss it if I try to procrastinate by writing weblog posts. If anyone's been noticing my signature on FM, you'll notice that there's more words on this bar. Apparently I wrote more words after my last update on FM and forgot to do the update.

The Fun Thing #1

California is the first of four of these "You know you're from" jokes that apply to me. All have to do with the area where I was born and lived most of my life. So, what does it say about Northern California that there are 4 lists that apply to it? We're a bit over the top, maybe? A bit obsessive? I don't know, but they're fun. A lot of the jokes in the California list apply more to Southern California than Northern California, which are totally different from each other. It's a big state. So, I've bolded the ones that apply to me, but you'll see in parts 2-4 that as you home in closer to my exact location, the number of bolds goes up.

You Know You're From California When...

The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.

You were born somewhere else.

You know how to eat an artichoke.

The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.

Your car has bullet-proof windows.

Left is right and right is wrong.

Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.

You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.

You drive to your neighborhood block party.

Your family tree contains "significant others."

You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them.

You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance.

More than clothes come out of the closets.

You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.

More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers.

Smoking in your office is not optional.

You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.

When you can't schedule a meeting because you must "do lunch."

Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks.

Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.

You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hot tub repairman.

You consult your horoscope before planning your day.

A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery.

All highways into the state say: "no fruits."

All highways out of the state say: "Go back."

The Terminator is your governor

You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH"

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from California.